Munro Leads Rudhachs in Red Rout
Benbecula 1 v 9 Point
(Coop cup round 1) 16/5/15
Stuart Munro, Point’s powerful centre forward, led the Reds to an emphatic victory with a hat-trick, as the Rudhachs left their Southern neighbours reeling. There was further goals for Elliot “Rabona” Rudall, Sam “Bedhead” Macsween, Stephen “Slowmo” Kettings, Mowgli “slide tackle” Macleod, and Ruari Miller “time”. Hector Macphee scored the consolation for Benbecula with a screamer from 30 yards.
DJ “Vettel” Murray was the driver for the day and he careered through the Point villages picking people up on the Harry Potter bus. He also made a couple of stops in town and it was after one of these that we realised Sam hadn’t turned up. So DJ drove to his house and sure enough, when Andrew Murray went to knock, there was an audible swear from one of the rooms as Sam was roused from his dreams of answering telephones ( works in Talk Talk). We waited 5 mins for Sam to fling his things together and when he eventually emerged there was a huge cheer from the bus. Sam had obviously had no time to style his luscious locks and had the mother of all bedheads on the go. I told him I knew how he felt and we were good to go.
Our last stop was for Stu Munro, Ali G and Stu’s dad Shorty the Hustler. Stu had brought a big beat box type thing which was to provide the soundtrack to the day. So we mosied on down the road listening to teuchter music, all were in good spirits and we took in the scenery along the way. To pass the time Coach Stoodie, Duncan “Deisler” Hunter and me tried to think of a German footballer for each letter of the alphabet. Fun times. I did A and B in the last report, couldn’t think of one for C!
Ali G then asked for a show of hands for the “Buttie Bus” order that we could pick up in Leverburgh. After asking for a show of hands for bacon, then for sausage, Ali threw a spanner in the works by asking if anyone wanted bacon and egg. “Why didnt you ask us that one first? ” the bus cried. I didn’t order anything as I was feeling a little travel sick, which I was disappointed about.
On the ferry I spoke to a German lady outside who was trying, in vain, to take pictures of diving Gannets “It is proving very difficult yes”. Anyway I was feeling better by the time we boarded the Funbus again and off we headed to Benbecula. We stopped at the supermarket in Balivanich and got some energy drinks, sandwiches and one of the Grumblies bought a pack of Tartan Special ( I know!) for later. Coach Stoodie bought a sausage and egg sandwich after studying the sell by dates on every single pack in order to get the freshest. After having a few bites he threw it away in disgust, claiming the bread was stale. My just in date Egg and Cress was lovely and fresh on the other hand. Neenie and Tom Joyce were getting torn into some Scotch eggs meanwhile. The boys were waking up gradually and were now singing along to the Champions league song. This was on the way down remember! Thankfullly we reached Linaclete a few mins later.
Word had spread that Benbecula were short of a few regulars and that some of the guys playing had been partying away in the Borrodale at a local wedding the night before. We reminded the lads that we would still need to start fast and play the best we could, especially as we’d lost the last two trips down South to Iochdar (3-1 in last year’s H Am) and Barra (on pens in last year’s coop quarter).
Spike won the toss (Stu F was back home manning the Sportsworld megastore) and elected to play with the strong wind in the first half. The Reds were immediately on the front foot, pinning the Blues inside their own half. Stu Munro was holding the ball up well and Elliot and the wingers were making good runs off him. It was a matter of time before a goal came along and when it did it was an unfortunate one for Benbecula. Elliot got to the byeline and instead of crossing it with his left foot, he decided to use the “Rabona” method, whereby you plant your left foot down and kick the ball with your right foot from behind your left ( hard to explain!) Anyway if you are confused by that explanation, it was nothing on the Benbecula defender who was so confused he could only slide the ball beyond his goalie and in to the net. Benbecula 0 v 1 Point. (10 mins)
After 14 minutes the Reds went 2 up and it was a crackerjack from Elliot. Stu Munro showed great skills on the right to double drag-back a pass into Elliot’s path and the midfield powerhouse fired in a wind assisted beauty over the keeper and into the far top corner from 25 yards. Waaw. Benbecula 0 v 2 Point. The Rudhachs continued to press and Sam had a goal harshly ruled out for a push when it looked like a shoulder charge to the travelling Red Army. Anyway, the next goal came after 34 mins. Mowgli came inside from the left looking for a chance to shoot but got crowded out. He managed to pass to Stu who cut inside his marker before firing a left foot shot beyond the keeper. Benbecula 0 v 3 Point. Whilst the Reds seemed to be cruising, the management team knew how this could be a real “game of two halves” considering the wind was howling down the pitch. Just as we were saying “we could do with another one” Duncan “Effenburg” Hunter swung in a corner and Stu bundled it over the line with his shoulder. Yesss. Benbecula 0 v 4 Point.
My goodness it was cold. Another hail shower had just arrived from the West as the ref blew for halftime. It’s a long way back to the changing room so teams usually stay out at Linaclete. However, it was frreeeezzziiinnnggggg -seriously. The team huddled together like Scott of the Antarctic’s travel group. All that was missing were some huskies. The far side linesman, Jinky from Southend, disappeared to the pub but he wasn’t gonna have time for his quick cuppa. The shortest teamtalk ever ended with Coach Stoodie telling the players to keep a high line and avoid giving away free kicks. Halftime finished as Jinky was taking his first sip of tea.
The Reds, despite being against the wind, continued to press forward and amazingly scored 3 goals in 6 crazy minutes. After the Benbecula centre forward had missed a golden chance to get a goal back with a free header, the Reds advanced up the pitch and Ruari Miller headed home following a stramash in the box. Benbecula 0 v 5 Point. (49 mins). Three minutes later Sam chased on to a long ball forward, cut inside from the right and curled a left footed beauty over the keeper and in to the far corner. Benbecula 0 v 6 Point. Stu Munro then completed his hat-trick with a composed finish after rounding the keeper. Benbecula 0 v 7 Point. (54 mins).
The Reds continued to take the game to Benbecula and Duncan “Fink” Hunter missed an open goal by chipping it over the bar when he could have just rolled it in. Save it for another game Dunc! After 72 minutes Mowgli powered through the middle and slid in just before the keeper to poke home for Benbecula 0 v 8 Point. He loves to slide! The Reds were in cruise control but a few minutes later Hector Macphee reminded all of us why he is one of the best players in the Western Isles. A slack pass out of the Rudhach defence was seized upon by Hector who took one look and rifled a shot into the top corner from 30 yards. Ali Lamont got a touch to it but couldn’t keep it out. Great goal. Benbecula 1 v 8 Point. (75 mins).
As another vicious squall came in Kettings went on a trademark run from right back, despite Coach Stoodie having told him to stay back. Kettings went past 2 or 3 players and bore down on goal. He was running as fast as he could into the wind and rain and it began to look like he was on a running machine set to superfast, he wasn’t going anywhere! Eventually he reached the ball and slipped it under the keeper for a fantastic goal. Benbecula 1v 9 Point. (79 mins) .The rest of the game was pretty uneventful apart from returning Red Daniel Macleod being booked for an “enthusiastic” challenge. Hopefully the Benbecula player makes a swift recovery. As the ref blew for fulltime everyone scampered inside out of the cold. Brrrrrrrrr.
We had soup and sarnies in the school cafeteria (yummy) before heading round to the Dark Island for a few beers. On the pool table I won the battle of the Coaches before Neenie fluked a win against me. After that Shorty the Hustler took control and wiped the floor with everyone, I think he’s still there playing Uisteachs as it was winner stays on! After a a few beers it was time to hit the road and we boarded the Funbus home. We stopped at the supermarket again but it wasn’t energy drinks this time!
And so we reached the ferry once more where we told the boys that there was no drinking allowed. Luckily Chairman Flower had taken time away from packing his Speedos ( he’s away on holiday) to produce a football quiz for the boys. It was a good problem solving quiz which required lateral thinking: eg “Preacher weighs a lot on a train” would be Ley ton Orient! Simple for a bunch of slightly inebriated footballers!!
We reached Leverburgh and headed North. The singing was really getting going now and there were some funny songs involving Sparrows, Crows, Alex Dan, Father Abraham (Tom classic) and sheds. We had told the boys to take it easy as we have a big game on Monday in Lochs. Elliot had decided to take his chemistry set to keep himself occupied. He was busy brewing up happy potions for the test tubes he’d brought along! The boys gave Neil” The Stag” Rowlands a red potion which he downed in one, good going Neil! Alas, eventually we reached town and the boys began to get off in their dribs and drabs. We had won and it had been a great day out.
Point man of the match: Stu Munro- fantastic all round performance from the Reds striker, topped off with a hat-trick!
Moment of game. Elliot’s goal was a cracker, pick that one out!
Moan of the match: The weather was unbelievable for Mid May. Gales and hailstorms followed by lovely blue skies. My jeans were soaked for the rest of the day.
When I came home at 8pm and tried to act all sensible to my wife. Then I ruined it by telling her about Tom singing three times! It was great fun though!